inspirational video

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Crazy fun facts

You were born on Friday
Since you were born has passed 20 years.
Since you were born has passed 244 months.
Since you were born has passed 1,061 weeks.
Since you were born has passed 7,437 days.
Since you were born has passed 178,513 hours.
Since you were born has passed 10,710,758 minutes.
Since you were born has passed 642,645,472 seconds.

Funny Facts:
Your heart beat 856,646,414 times
Your hair grewn 305 cm.
You slept 59,496 hours
You ate 8,255 kg. of food
You drank 10,568 liters of liquid
You walked 43,134,600 steps, about 14,339 km.
You blinked 114,232,320 times
You farted 111,555 times, producing 335 liters of CO2 (carbon dioxide) and 261 liters of CH4 (methane).
You urinated 25,286 times, almost 10,784 liters.

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Broken Dreams [Short Story]

This is a story of a boy who is still struggling to find his identity in the ever-changing world and his love story which he will tell to people in the years to come. It's about the path of self-confusion, pride, the loudest heartbeat and a strong passion for a young lady...

Part I: The beginning [2008.Sep]

The days were still cloudy and cold. It's been like this for a while now. No desire for future, no memories about the past, I was living for today, as the furthest I would look forward to is the night to come. If I only could go through the night, the parties, the heavy drinking and the random hook-ups, nothing would matter to me at all. I considered myself the unlucky one and refused to think otherwise. Inside I could feel the emptiness and sorrow, which once used to overflow with joy and happiness, yet the dark days that followed which took away my innocence and childhood from me. Like the lightest feather, the most delicate wind would blow it away to the other end of the world. Days went on and on like an ever ending maze, no feelings or passion for anything except my cup of warm latte and my box of cigarettes. Those were the only things that made me peaceful. I would sit down on the BC plaza bench and take a deep breath. No thoughts, a journey into blankness. Then everything changed. My simple life suddenly got complicated, my peaceful mind suddenly filled up with question which myself couldn't answer. That night which I still remember it as it was yesterday, I saw her, an angel from the skies, something sacred and unreachable, the finest of god's creation. It was the Nasher party I remember, quarter to eleven pm, as I was one of the last few people to go in and see the new exhibition, two eyes met. The most beautiful eyes were standing just a few feet away, staring at me. I neither experienced it before nor believed in it, but it did happen, I fell in love by first sight... the first time in my life and probably the last time as well.

"...when the melody inside me starts to resonate, when the wind of passion slowly whispers, when two eyes meet with a spark of joy, when the music of the souls flirt with the same rhythm, when my heart feels your heartbeat, I know that I wanna see you again..."

I couldn't explain what was going on for me. As I had promised myself that I would never fall in love again, or at least for a few years, I reached self conflict. It was a situation of 50-50. I was confused. Then luckily my passion won me over, I dared to ask her out, opened up my feelings, came out of hibernation and said to myself "I'll give myself another chance". It didn't disappoint, the closer we became and the better we start to know each other, my passion grew stronger and stronger, I finally accepted the fact that I actually loved her. She was a freshman and I was a junior in college then. She tended not to show up or be late for a date which seems to be a common thing among girls. I knew generally that means "they didn't give a fuck" and when the outcome of the night is somehow disappointing, I used to tell myself that "she is still young and new, probably confused and overwhelmed". Those were the words I used to tell myself in order to make up for my lack of patience. She seemed to not care about me. I waited. I have never been this patient with the same girl before, and it used to surprise me at the first, but finally I also accepted the fact that she meant a lot for me. I was building up. I was recovering from my previous injury... but I was careful, I didn't want to take another hit. I didn't trust anyone. Time went on. I tried to figure out what was going through her mind and I would seek for the smallest signs or hints for the search of an answer. Things that started with a big burst of flames finally cooled down a little bit. I was getting annoyed. She is not the one to blame, but I was getting confused and angry more and more again for some unknown reasons.

Part II: Destined to be [2008.Nov]

Winter was on the way. It was not until Thanksgiving, when I realized that I should add some fuel to the "whole situation", I invited her for a Thanksgiving dinner. Few of my friends were also staying on campus for the break, so I planned for a big dinner, we would cook, and she would come over and help with my portion of the dinner. That's at least what I thought. Four pm. She didn't show up. That's fine I thought. Dinner time. I had absolutely no idea where she was. She never showed up. I cooked a lot, just for her. I tried to make it elegant. I was sad. I got disappointed. Then I got angry. I told myself "everything is over". I felt like I have been expecting way too much from her. I didn't know why I was giving this much effort for something that has.... erghhh... no potential benefit for me. I kept on telling myself "No more, no more!!!!!", but inside I believed everything will work out. I felt that all these things are destiny that one day she would come and hug me and tell me that she cared about me, in other words I believed in a fairy tale. I didn't give a fuck anymore. That's what I tried to do... Winter break. Now all I cared was having some fun and not thinking about anything, continuing my normal life, downgraded to where I was before a couple of months ago. Usually I am jerk, specially to girls. I try to be nice and respectful, but at times it just doesn't work out. Unfortunately when I am with her I could no longer be the same. I get influenced by some mysterious presence, maybe she had some kind of magical powers, who knows. New year. It was time for me to came back for the next semester. Winter break was long and fun. Now, sure that I erased her from my mind, with confidence, I came back to my school. It has been more than four months since I first met her. It was a real windy day. As soon as I got back, I realized one thing, forgetting someone is not as easy as it seems. I also realized that I completely forgot that I was going to take the same class as her. Art History. Shoot me!

Part III: A new prologue and the unhappy ending [2009.Jan]

In my introduction to art history class, professor Bruzelius, with her wonderful voice, started talking about the paleolithic period. She walked in. As always, a little late for class. I couldn't take my eyes off her, I was unconsciously staring at her. I suddenly felt happy, real happy to see her again. I missed her a lot. Ancient Egypt, Holy Roman Empire and Early Renaissance. It was the funnest class I had ever taken, but for a guy who is the master of procrastination, I struggled with the whole date memorization part. We formed a study group, me plus her. We would stay late at night in the library, just enjoying the time together instead of doing work. Every second I spent with her at the library I felt complete. Each second, I realized more and more about how much I loved this girl, those beautiful eyes, those sudden sighs, those adorable laughs, that childish behavior, that energetic character, those sexy lips, that perfume smell, I loved it all with my heart. I wanted to close my eyes and kiss her, but I didn't. With her, I was shy, yet I was happy. I wanted to hold her hands and cuddle, but I didn't. I don't know why. I was a coward. On the other hand, I was good enough friends with her that I felt like I would be risking a good friendship over a potential relationship, which I knew this is where things get a little messy, out of control. I had to decide what my next step was. I chose the Valentines Day to be the special day to ask her out. One problem was that the only way of communication with her was through internet. When she is not online, pretty much there was no way to reach her. I wanted to go to the Valentines dance party with her. Finally at three am, Valentines day, I found her on skype, but I didn't know what to say. I asked her "would you be my valentine..." She gently refused. She told me "I wouldn't cheat..." I respected that. I understood that. I always considered myself a man of honor. ...Yet I was expecting a yes as a response. I told her that I would be going for a walk. I thought that's how things are meant to be. I wanted to shout "why did god let me meet you in the first place?" but I knew that it was not the right thing to even think about, as I enjoyed every single second with her and I didn't regret anything at all. Sometimes a lot happens in your mind. I went for the longest walk of my life at 4 am in the morning. Cigarettes were my only friends now. Before entering my room, I took a deep breath and, then went to bed. The next time I saw her, I pretend as nothing happened. Now I knew I am merely just a friend, not someone special to her. I told myself it was fine. Life is never fair, I knew. We kept on hanging out and continued our study sessions together. Final exam time was one the way. Another year was nearing an end. The last time I saw her before leaving back for home was in the bus, and we hugged, had a formal goodbye and she told me she would send me a present for my birthday. That gave me tiny bit of hope. Funny, what people assume and expect from others and what small things can mean a lot. I never recieved anything. "Oh well" I said and I assured myself about the fact that everything is gone for good. The dreams once I had slowly faded away. Broken dreams of passion that is. I buried everything deep beneath my emotions. I believed it will never be touched and someday be forgotten. In the end, I blamed myself for everything. That is always the easiest way to feel better.

Part IV: Love is never gone [2009.Aug]

It was a busy summer. It's been almost a year since I first saw her, but things were different now. I started seeing things in a different way. Maybe the way I approached people changed. I probably matured as an individual. I started thinking about my future and what things could be done. One night, I had a dream. A couple of months back, I talked about her, how things turned out and what she meant for me that whether I should pursue her with a friend of mine who lives in Massachusetts, . She[my friend] told me a story of old man whom she met in the train. The old man was telling my friend about his love story of his youth.

"When he was in Japan, he fell in love with a Japanese woman but the it was during a time of hardship, that she wasn't allowed to follow the man. The time which they spent together was not long but their love and bonding remained forever. Even after multiple decades, it preserved itself and the old man was telling my friend that it was the best time he had in his life..."

She advised me to go for it and it was worth the risk, which can be something special. My friend told me why not enjoy the last year of college with someone who really matters to you. I was dreaming about this incident, this specific conversation. But this time I was the old man and she was the Japanese woman. It was one of the best dreams I have ever had. I woke up in the morning and thought what a silly thing to dream about. One thing always surprised me. When I am with anyone else, I never have a problem, I am usually a baller, P.I.M.P-ish type of guy who gets what he wants, but only when I am with her I return to my middle school state where I am shy and scared of girls, holding a girls hand would be an impossible task. I never understood that. All I knew was there was something wrong with me. Anyhow, it was the end of summer now and it was time to go back. One last year, one last push. I came back with a lot of things in mind, a lot of plans but she was not part of my plan. After all the disappointments, all the pain she brought me, excluding the fact it was not her fault, I was certain enough that she was buried safely in my heart and that we were just friends and that was it. We became real good friend over the course of the whole drama that had been inside me. My senior year I decided to live off-campus. Living off-campus seemed really fun, with a little set-back, getting back to campus. There are always trade-offs.

One morning when I was sleeping I received a phone call from her. She stored her stuff with me, and so she called to let me know that she was back and wanted to know where her stuff was. I told her it was in my apartment and she can come and get it anytime she wanted to. Then she told me something about "I am ready to go to all the parties with you...", something like that, I was not sure what she said and what she meant. Whatever it was, I thought "whatever". As a friend, I strongly felt like I should get some dinner with her and catch-up, I called the number she called from just to realize that it was her roommate's number. When I asked for her phone number, the roommate started questioning me about who I am, why I want to get the number... Finally got her phone number and called. The conversation would go as the following.

"Hello?"
"Hey wasssuuuuup, how is it going?"
"Who is this, is this Amaaaaar?"
"Who do you think it is, of course..."
"Heeeeeey, how did you get my number? I just got a new number today??????"
"I got my ways, hehe, you know me!"
"C'mooooon tell me...."

After a short conversation we agreed to get dinner after her last class at six pm and she would call me when she is done. Seven o'clock. I was waiting for someone to call me, secretly I was nervous. I kept on looking at my watch. That's what I do when I am nervous. Eight o'clock. I lost hope. She would never change, I thought. I called a friend to ask to get dinner with me while I was heading to the Armadillo Grill Bar. Maybe a drink as well, I told myself. After a while she called me. She told me that her class was longer than she expected, explaining the reason she was late and asked where I was. She came by to say "hi" to me. She was wearing a 70's style eyeglasses which made her look even prettier than before. I was trying to think which movie character she looks like while she was coming down the stairs. "Heyyyy, how was your summer..." our conversation started. It was not a long conversation but it felt good.

A few days later I saw her walking on the quad next to the bus stop in front of the Chapel. I shouted her name as loud as I can, didn't look back... I called her and she finally looked back. She was going to the computer shop. She asked me to join her, I welcomely agreed and we went on a little trip around Durham. It was a nice day. We had a pit-stop on a bridge over the highway, it was beautiful. Helped her to bring her stuff from my apartment to her dormitory and later on went for a dinner at the Marketplace where I saw a few old friends. After finally reaching west campus to drop her off, I thought "this is how things used to be." Now I felt I knew a lot about her. Not long after, I ran into her at a party. I was hanging out with a few friends, she was also enjoying the night with her friends. The night was young and the party scene continued. I was not enjoying the night that much. Maybe I was not drunk enough. Maybe for some other reasons... Then I was standing breathless before her while she was dancing in front of a big window, where you can see the light from the the outside streetlights shining from her back, a perfect light and shadow creation. Seemed breathtaking. Her graceful movements turned me on, and I wanted to kiss her once again, but this time I was not scared nor shy. I just knew how lame it will be when the next time I see her if things didn't work out and went wrong. Therefore, I decided to leave the dance floor quietly with a realization that I cannot outrun my love, my passion for her, that it will always be there in my heart... Only if she felt the same way...

Dedicated to A.K

2009.Sep.07

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