Guide to living the happy life: Finding the perfect match

I wanted to dedicate this post to all my 30 something brothers who are successful in life, but have fallen in love with themselves, actively rejecting all the wonderful ladies surrounding them. Still single, ready to mingle and party like they are 21.

Single moms. Next time when I drink something fancy, I would like to make a toast for all the single moms out there. I think they are absolutely amazing. Raising a child alone in addition to all the mandatory life tasks such as working a full time job, taking care of your parents, not missing out on social life and partying quite a few times a month simply seems an impossible mission for a single person. I am absolutely sure that I do not and will not possess that capability today or in the future.

As much as I respect and adore them, I find it sad that the fact there are already so many single moms in my social circle. Marriage is a responsibility and a commitment. No child deserves to grow up in a broken family.  But yet, it seems to be such a common practice in Mongolia.

So I wanted to share these 3 easy steps to prevent this specific “situation”.

1. Contraceptives

2. Salt-water solutions

3. Abstinence

…..

….

…

Ahem. The three easy steps was a joke. Of course.

But finding the right person for you is not.

Some of my friends call me a serial monogamist. I am not going to lie. I am. I have been vilified for the fact that I spent my past four birthdays with four different people. Even my father jokes about it. But, is it really considered a crime against humanity? I hope not. We are all explorers by nature. After all, the journey of finding the right person is exhausting, nerve wrecking, heart breaking and time consuming. Except for the lucky few - I salute you. For the rest, it is a game of hide and seek. It is prisoner’s dilemma. It’s jumanji.

The bottom line is that you keep on looking for the right person until you find one. When I first signed up for this journey, I never wanted to hurt someone or to be hurt myself. But it happens nevertheless, one way or another. I have seen lovers turn into enemies. I have seen strong men cry in bathrooms. I have seen people fall down on their knees. I have seen friends being lost in life without barely any hope. I have seen guys drink excessive amounts. I have seen girls eat tons of ice cream and cake. In the end, whatever may have happened, we all get up, walk forward and keep on looking for the right person. Again. And again.

I wouldn't necessarily call myself lucky, but I have been through enough to be a poor man’s hitch. And I think there is a formula for identifying your perfect match and sticking with him/her. While the formula is not guaranteed, my findings are unisex (but I am a guy).

1. Appearance, not really

The concept of beauty differs from people to people. There is no predefined concept of beauty. (Even though guys tend to have a uniform view on ‘hotness’. Don’t worry girls, smart guys don’t marry the hot ones. We leave it to the assholes. To learn more, read the Wikipedia article on Natural Selection) One can find beauty in virtually everything. Beauty is timeless if you know what you are looking for.

2. Trust, a must

Trust seems to play a significant role in building a stable relationship, maintaining happy family and staying away from a miserable life. I am not against a healthy dose of jealousy, but too much can make one’s life a burning hell. Goes both ways. People got to be smart, learn to trust and be patient. If trust is broken, try to fix it – do not act on impulse or personal ego. In the end, it will be worth it. Especially if you have offspring.

3. Perfection? Are you 16?

One need to accept the fact that no one is perfect. Forget about the fairy tales that you have been brainwashed growing up. I repeat, no one is fucking perfect. We need to learn to accept the little wrongdoings and imperfections. It is what makes us unique… and a human... and lovable.

3. Mutual respect, YO

Yo, you gotta respect, yo. You got to respect your significant other. It includes respecting his/her past, present and future. It includes respecting his/her familia; mother, father, sibling(s), the annoying cousin or that distant relative who doesn’t shower. You must respect each other’s dream. And friends, of course. You can either disagree, argue, complain, not be a big fan of, be offended or PMSing, but you gotta be always respectful, yo. Respect everything. If you can’t you ain’t perfect for each other. But again, do not abuse this term – respect.

4. Intellectual curiosity (IC)

I talk a lot about this to my friends. In case if you are wondering what intellectual curiosity means, it is a combination of the following: intelligent + curious. Sadly, this is not applicable to a lot of people and at times people lack either or both. It should be like the basic requirement to be human. I think beautiful people attract beautiful people. Same goes for the intellectually curious ones. If you do not consider yourself IC or cannot find one, please refer back to the article on Natural Selection. For my case, I have proven this theory on myself over and over again. I need a person who share the same intellectual curiosity – a person whom I can talk for hours and still realize there are so much more we can talk about and learn from each other. A person who understands my deeply dark humor.

5. Do you see “us” in 10 year?

Do you? If yes please keep on doing what you are doing. If not, don’t waste each other’s time. Reset. Be honest. Be straightforward. People aren’t getting any younger. Guys, you got to understand that.

6. Sexual compatibility

This side of the story got to work as well. You don’t want to catch your significant other watching redtube. (Like you can access it from Mongolia). After all, we humans are only one of the three species that have sex for pleasure along with the dolphins and pygmy chimpanzees. Sexual incompatibility is a recipe for failure.

7. Weird little world

We humans are weird. We all live in our weird little world and it is beautiful. Be part of each other’s weird little worlds. Sometimes let the other person sink in their own weird little world. Give each other some personal time. Build a bigger weird little world together.

8. Falling in love with the character

You got to fall in love. A case proven especially for guys. You don’t have the spark, you don’t progress further. Your brain can be telling you that he/she is the perfect person for you, but if your heart doesn't agree, it will be difficult. I am telling you, it is about coming to a consensus and striking the delicate balance between your brain and your heart.

PS: This might function a bit differently for different genders.

Ok. Now is important. To avoid restarting the loop of searching, you got to fall in love with the character. Character is what defines us as individuals and it is the one thing that changes the least. Fall in love with the the real person and "You are in good hands". (Please understand that I am not promoting All State.) Not the eyes, not the smile, not the cars or definitely not the parents, but yes the character.

Find the right person. Suffer for the ones who are worth to you. Be friends, not partners.

So, tonight, I drink for “No more single moms and heartbroken kids”. Hope everyone finds their perfect matches.

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Discovering yourself 2.0

Stuck between grad school dreams, parents' expectations, personal ambition, misplaced passion and everyday work, I wanted to share my humble experience of a simple, yet never-ending journey to discover myself.

"Look at the cloud, mom! It looks like a dog"

Growing up, I was one of those kids who lived in his own little fantasy world. The type of child who did not have many friends, except the few imaginary ones. I did not know how to communicate well with people. Sad isn't it. Oh, and a bit close-fisted; I did not want to share my toys with anyone else. Ah, an asocial child.

However, I was full of imagination. I dreamed. I imagined. I drew. Speaking of drawing, I started drawing on the wallpapers of my home and this little evil-ish hobby of mine later extended to the underneath wooden surfaces of tables, chairs and even beds. At some point in my drawing career, I remember that I couldn't find any wallpaper space within my reach to draw because it was already full of my doodles. This doodling obsession was fairly harmless until I discovered the pen. I am sure you can imagine what the aftermath was. Nevertheless, I loved my Lego more than anything else. I enjoyed doing origami folds. I would look up the sky and see animals, cars, dinosaurs, guns and sometimes boobs. The sky and the clouds constituted a world of wonders to me which explains where my weird cloud-fetish came from.

My mom once dropped the line on me "Oh, I was worried that you would turn-out to be a person with no friends." I can see why. I had all the aspects to become an anti-social "loser". Luckily enough, I ended up just alright. Perhaps, a bit too alright.

"Why was the homework so sad?... Wait for it..............  Because it had many problems." -OE

I went to a religious school which pushed "Math is the savior of the world" propaganda to our innocent little minds. I grew up believing that math+physics is the only absolute truth in this world. I loved Masus and Physus from the bottom of my heart.

Time passed. Elementary school. Check. Middle school. Done. High school. Accomplished. In a matter of few blinks, it was suddenly the holy moment to choose what I wanted to become in life. I talked to a lot of people and they said "Become an Engineer! Mongolia need Engineers". With a math heavy background, it was fairly easy for me to decide that I will study something science related in college.

I applied to a handful of schools. I decided that I wanted to become an Electrical and Computer Engineer. Because my mom is an Electrical Engineer. Because my mom advised me not to do Electrical Engineering. Because she thought that I would be working behind a computer 24/7. Because my mom told me that I should do something else. Because I was 16. Because as a 16 year old rebellious little man, I had to go against my mom. There you go. I chose Electrical and Computer Engineering because I was good at math and sciences, but also because my mom told me not to.

"This shit just got serious"

At 4.15 am on a cold morning of a gloomy day in April 2006, my parents almost had a heart attack. They woke up to a loud fudging shout. It was coming from my room. Scared to death, they both rushed into my room to discover me sitting in front of my computer with tears in my eyes. I was accepted to Duke University. I will never forget that look on my father's face. His face was the visual definition of proud. Luck played on my side, once again.

I was admitted into Pratt School of Engineering at Duke University to pursue a Bachelor of Science in Engineering degree. August came. I left home, my parents, Mongolia the first time in my life, alone. Arrived in Durham. Orientation. Got drunk my first time ever. Sweated like hell - humidity was 100%. Thermometer was almost showing 100 Fahrenheit. Fudge. Had to shower 3 times a day, minimum.

Finally school started. I had to take some basic math and engineering classes. It was 7th or 8th grade material for me, so I relaxed quickly. I started missing classes here and then, stopped doing homework regularly. Then the mid-term exams approached. I understood everything. I considered my-self smart. Piece of cake. But the harsh reality that slammed my face was the fact that I almost failed all my mid-terms. That is when I realized that this shit just got serious. I ended my first semester with a record low 2.475 GPA. Fudge again.  

"Hey I just met you
And this is crazy
But here's my number
Pa-ssion, maybe?"

In the last semester of my junior year in college, I started seeing this spark of hope of being freed from my three years of slavery in the computer lab trapped inside multi-dimensional differential equations, Laplace transforms and discrete signals. I could literally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I saw something that I have never seen before in my life and it was beautiful: a free elective.

I decided to take Art History. Again, I saw something that I have never seen before. That is never-have-I-ever witnessed so many female beings in one room clustered together. They were wonderful and mysterious. My fellow engineering friends did not believe in me. Probably they would have believed if I told them that I saw a rainbow farting unicorn.

...I loved the class...

It was the first time since my career as an artist ended (when I was young and wild, showing great artistic expression, doing gigs on wallpapers, almost Banksy like. #notbanksy ) that I fell in love with a certain subject. From Parthenon in Athens to the Reims Catherdral in France, I was once again living in a world of wonders. PS: I almost failed the mid-term because I turned-out to be extremely and absolutely horrible with remembering dates. On my defense dates have no fudging logic. "When and in which dynasty was the Pyramid of Giza built?  Answer your question with a margin of plus or minus 30 years." "Wo ist meine hose? Square. Pink. Boobs. Between 3100 BC to 2000 BC? :Poker face:"

"5 am... Really? Pa-ssion still, maybe?" 

Stunned by the unknown beauty of free electives and inspired by a room full of hot and not so hot girls that I met, I decided to take a few more courses in that direction. I registered myself into two different classes - Motion Graphics and Digital Imaging. For those who are lost with the complicated terminology, let me translate it for you - After Effects (Learn to animate a bouncing ball, but end up with a swinging boob) and Photoshop (learn to make a professional looking poster but end up editing your FB profile picture).

Often, I would accept minimal workload and do only whatever is required to pass an engineering class. But with the design classes, I worked endless hours. I tried new techniques. I read books. I researched the latest design trends.

And then I remember the day when it happened...

I can still clearly remember it as if it was 1992. In 1992, Bush was the first US president to address in the Australian Parliament. Who doesn't remember, right? I was sitting in my little studio room working on a final design project. I got into the studio around 6 pm. The art department comfortably sat in this recently renovated old tobacco warehouse. Artsy fartsy place. The brick walls, high ceilings and the old-yet-new feel makes you fall in love with the building fairly quickly. Probably it was the only building I ever fell in love with. Anyways, long story short, I was working on my project all concentrated and shit 'till I looked at the clock. 5 AM!!!!!!! It was five o'clock in the morning. 11 hours have elapsed. I didn't realize. 11 HOURS. Eeemazing. That's when "it" happened. I kind of found my passion.

I will end this part of the journey here, but for those who are wondering what happened next - NOTHING. Obviously, for a fact, it was a bit too late.

"Fast forward >>>"

Graduated from college. Came back. Started a start-up with friends. Tried to find clients. Got hired instead. Ditched the start-up with a friend. Joined one of the biggest conglomerates in Mongolia with a friend. Met amazing people. Did amazing stuff. Almost found my long lost siblings. Cried in a train. Went to amazing corporate parties. The friend got seconded to a subsidiary. Went to more amazing corporate parties. Met someone who referred to himself in third person. Got blacklisted. Experienced a walking Encyclopedia. Made friend with a person who had 17 savings accounts and a fudging curly hair. Made new year videos. Met a male strip club dancer from Chicago. Found out that my long lost high school friend spoke fluent Texas language. Discovered Australia. Was demoted to Amar Jr. The friend ditched the subsidiary. Met someone who was later destined to be an important person in the bank. Lived through someones childhood memories in Swiss cheese. Then I was seconded to the subsidiary. Sent inappropriate e-mail to everyone in the company. Wait. Stop.

Hold on. Run backwards a little bit. Here we go.

At Newcom, I was working as an investment analyst. I still carried my passion with me. I started doing some freelance design work. At work, I edited corporate presentations and made reports look fairly decent. The management team saw my interest, my creative approach on tasks and suddenly decided to send me to one of it's subsidiary, Eznis Airways, as a marketing manager. For a young man like me without any prior management or marketing experience, it was a big damn responsibility. I refused at first. Then I begged not to send me. I prepared my case why I shouldn't go and why I should stay with Newcom. Talked to my boss. My boss said "I understand - fair enough." Then I was seconded/sent Eznis Airways, nevertheless.

At Eznis, I had the chance to work on some great creative projects with some great people. It helped me to realize a bit more that these kind of things are what I enjoy doing. Thank you management team for believing in me. Luck was on my side, again.

"The days with the donor-driven industry"

I can be a very impulsive person. I just hope that this "impulsiveness" of mine does not bring me regret at some point in my life...

Having said that, one day I woke up and decided I would like to quit. The same day I decided I would like to join the Zorig Foundation. Impulsive muuuch? Impulsive much! Even though I masked my sudden maneuver with a fancy word called "impulsivitynessmuch", there was actually a strong rationale behind the reason why I quit the airline business. It is considered to be one of the sexiest industries a person can ever be in. But sadly, it was overwhelmingly politically influenced and motivated in Mongolia. It was an industry where fair play did not exist. In this industry, one couldn't catch the rabbit with a caravan - only with "dirty tricks", maybe.

Disgusted, I joined Zorig Foundation. I started working on a project to raise social awareness on the negative impacts of our ultimate sins such as picking your nose in public, stabbing your friend in the back, telling you don't have any more gums even though you have a pocketful and of course corruption, bribery, conflict of interest and everything else bad. I worked for a young man who went to one of the best football schools on the planet - which is of course Stanford, fudge me right? Sometimes my boss would dress up like the Stanford mascot. From toes to head - all Stanford. Recently, it sparked a very interesting conversation and a comment about a size of a certain thing that some people find it delicious.

What I loved about the foundation and my job was that I had the flexibility to design and be creative with the project I was running. I could unleash my suppressed creativity. Almost went back to my days as a street artist and almost did a graffiti on a wall. Almost. #truestory

There, I also met a bunch of amazing people. The one who doesn't speak well. The one who always says "But...". The one who thinks Mongolia is the new Europe. The one who has multiple personality disorder which is observed through extremist tendencies in life. And the one who got pregnant and never came back. But I am the most grateful for the chance that was given to me to further look into and understand something about my passion. Again luck was on my side.

"500 lost days of Summer..."

DP won. Altankhuyag become the Prime Minister of Mongolia. Coincidentally at the same time, I was starting to grow a bit of discomfort inside of me. Let's say that I was becoming more lost in life. So was Mongolia. I was becoming a bit sad. I did not know what to do. "Maybe I should do grad school" I started telling myself. But the question "to do what?" quickly followed. My future seemed as uncertain as the position of an electron in an atom.

Pffft. I wished to know whether Lady Gaga is a man or a woman. I wanted to know what happened to Miley. I wished that life came with an instruction manual. I sought to reveal whether the Schrodinger's cat was alive or not.

But most of all, I wanted to be a child once again. Without any worries, I just simply wanted to doodle on the wall.

This time it was a little different though. Probably because I was old enough to buy beer. If I did doodle on a wall, that was to be considered pure vandalism. So, I started doodling on an imaginary wall inside my head going back and forth.

"Discovering yourself 2.0"

Then I decided let it be that I am lost, but also let it be me the one to start a mission to "discover myself". I started talking to people. I started to question the word passion. What does it mean? I simply wanted answers.

Luckily enough, luck was on my side, one more time. Thanks to Physus+Masus, somehow miraculously I started to realise that my whole life so far has been a long fucking journey - a single mission to discover where I stand on the spectrum of life. All these experiences were indeed the building blocks to find and zing with myself. It took me bit of a time to answer some very fundamental questions such as "Who am I", "What do I like" and "What do I want to do". But, I guess I can live with that because it only took a quarter of a century. And the cat was alive.

I consider myself truly lucky. Luck never left me. I finally managed to figure out where I wanted to be in life - in the creative industry. Not everyone has managed to do that. So, what exactly do I want to do in the CI? Not sure yet, but I will get there soon. I was lost, took a small detour, but I do not regret my engineering degree nor the jobs I went through. Because it gave me the ability to work systematically and it allowed me to meet so many wonderful people throughout my journey.

So buddy if you are lost too, don't worry. One day or another, you will find a place where you truly belong. Just remember that everyone is different and you are a masterpiece in progress.

"Insert half-baked, somewhat funny sentence inside quotation marks"

After all, nothing in life comes with certainty except death. And of course we know the hard evidence and the direct correlation which that 100% of the people who drink water die. We can be lost jiggas at some times and for sure we won't know where we will end up in 20 years.  But HEY, you got to start somewhere and discovering yourself is a good start.

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For now, to end my journey which is just starting, I would like to dedicate the last word to a friend of mine who is still lost. "Travel more, buddy"

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Ээж бүхнийг мэднэ

Жил хагас ор сураггүй алга болоод блогдоо эргэн ирж байна. (Энэ удаа жинхэнээсээ байх болтугай) Удахгүй нээнэ гэж төлөвлөж байгаа дизайн голлосон портфель маягийн цахим хуудасныхаа эхлэл болгоод нэгэн цагт нуугдах талбар минь болж байсан миний мөрөөдөл, гуниг, инээд, бухимдал гээд дурсамжуудын эрээвэр хураавар, цоохортсон хэсгүүдээс бүрдсэн энэ л блогныхоо өнгө үзэмжийг нь бага сага засчихлаа, ямартай ч. Хэсэгхэн бодлоосоо хуваалцъя.

Би баян хүн гэдгээ бага багаар ойлгосоор. Урсан өнгөрөх цаг хугацааны хэмжүүр ч гэлтэй, амьдрал үзэж, алдаж, онож, шинийг эрэлхийлж, хуучнаасаа суралцах тусам, өдрөөс өдөрт өчүүхэн ч гэсэн өсөн тэлэх ухаандаа хол ойрыг эрэгцүүлж боддог болов. Гүехэн бодол нь гүнзгийрэх тусам, хүн ижийгээ улам ойлгодог юм байна. Би ээжтэй хүн гэдгээ эцсийн эцэст ухаардаг юм байна. Би ээжтэй хүн. Тийм ч учраас би баян хүн. Мэдээж, би бас азтай хүн. Бурууг минь хэлж, алдааг минь засдаг, голдоо ортол гомдсон ч хүүгээ гэсэн сэтгэл нь хэзээ ч үл мохох амьд бурхантай хүн. Амьдрал баялаг юм даа.

Ээж бүгдийг мэднэ

4 настайдаа:   Ээж бүхнийг мэднэ!

8 настайдаа:   Ээж олон юм мэддэг.

12 настайдаа: Ээж бүхнийг мэддэггүй.

14 настайдаа: Ээж юу ч мэддэггүй.

16 настайдаа: Ээж хэнд ч хэрэггүй.

18 настайдаа: Ээж хэтэрхий хуучинсаг.

25 настайдаа: Ээж мэдэж магад!

35 настайдаа: Ээжээс эхлээд юу ч гэсэн асууя, шийдвэр гаргахаасаа өмнө.

45 настайдаа: Ээж үүний талаар юу гэж бодож байгаа бол?

75 настайдаа: Ээж минь байсан бол ээжээсээ асуух юмсан.

/Хэдэн жилийн өмнө нийтийн сүлжээгээр viral явсан энэхүү богино мөртлөө гайхалтай утга санаа бүхий зохиомжиор өөрийн бодлоо өндөрлөе./

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